The unconventional guide to networking
The popular idea of networking tilts towards attending conferences and meetups where you meet people who are supposedly interested in the same topic as you. You are expected to walk up to people during tea/lunch breaks and start up conversations. Lord knows I have had no luck with those things which is weird considering how social I can be. In fact, I decided to stop attending those because I was mostly going to meet people but I never met anyone I kept in touch with.
Personal opinion: If you want to build relationships, skip formal settings and attend game nights /hangouts/ potlucks and other “Lounge mode” meetups.
Why? Because people are in a more relaxed state in these settings. Guards are down and people are more open to having friendly conversations. For example, If someone asked me what I do, my response will be different depending on the setting. In a relaxed setting, I will be more inclined to talk about what I do from the perspective I find most interesting than the one I find most impressive which makes talking about it easier.
So now say you meet someone at a party and you vibe, how do you take it up from there?
1. Instead of asking for a phone number, ask for a social media handle. I’ll suggest to confirm which they are more active on prior to the asking (I usually go for Instagram or Twitter).
2. Follow them immediately (so you can be sure they’ll follow back if you care for that) and let them know.
3. Join conversations, look out for whatever they are promoting (It can be a blog, a business, an event or anything really) and consciously support and engage them (not in a creepy way please).
4. Once you’ve established a comfortable rapport, you can DM them to check in.
Let me point out that you don’t have to talk to someone every day or even often to verify that the shot was successful. What’s important is that this person knows that you exist, your skills and can send opportunities your way. It goes the other way too. Intentionally nurture the relationships you’ve established. Send encouragements and support their hustle
Something else that helps is being in different circles. We are more than our jobs. We are a sum total of our experiences, relationships, hobbies, emotions and so on. You need a paradigm shift if you only see networking as something that is only supposed to help you climb up in your career. You need to start seeing it as connecting with people to make life easier in general.
If you love to read, join a book club and connect with other book lovers. You love to travel, find travel groups around you. You’re religious, get involved in the work force of your church and meet people who you can relate with. In fact, be fine with going out of your comfort zone to connect with others of different interests. Having a diverse network adds spice to your life.
Finally, don’t tight the world to your chest. We will all still die Las Las so live a little more, smile a little more while you can. You don’t know how much you have left so why waste a second of it being anything but the best version of you there can be?
